How do I start? I don’t know how old the discipline of psychology is, (just looked it up, Greeks have been ahead than the rest of the world) but assuming myself to be in a time before it, where the concept of god complex is uncharted and people are mostly unaware of themselves seems the right way to start addressing my current dilemma.
As an agnostic, the best I can aspire to be is enlightened (what does it even truly mean? Becoming completely self aware?). I’m still rather undecided on where I consider myself on the scale between theism and atheism. I’m fairly certain that this kind of thought process only comes up when one has too much of free time or if life has thrown far too many lemons along the way. (Or am I assuming too much here?) Constantly observing oneself and being honest about one’s own shortcomings brings down the inflated sense of self, at least in my case. I digress far too much. This post was supposed to be about tales from my experiences of going through insanity; But instead I’ve perhaps made it to be an introduction to psychology, a noobs guide to understand “crazy” behaviour.
There are a few subtle signs to spot unusual behaviour (or should I rather call ‘insane’ behaviour) and most folks are adept at it anyway.
There were two particular events through which people around me could sense something was off with me.
1) Jumping off a train and apparently collecting pot from strangers and giving it to a friend. In reality however, only actual rocks were received.
2) Becoming Batman but with dogs instead of bats, so Dogman rather, and watching a comet.
The only road to recovery I know of and can recommend is a silent retreat where you face your demons by yourself until you’re capable of overpowering them and convincing yourself of the slightest differences between reality and fiction that your troubled mind weaves.
